This summer, I was fortunate to spend time with dear friends and family members that I don’t see very often. These are people that I have lifelong relationships with. I trust them and enjoy their company. And, I feel cherished by them.

Besides being extremely grateful that I have a few of these types of relationships, I also spent some time thinking about what makes these relationships work. What key characteristics are necessary for deep, lifelong relationships? Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

1. You share a common bond.

Relationships are often based on a common bond between two people that holds you together for life. It could be that you are family, or that you have a hobby or interest you share. Or, you could have a spiritual connection, a similar philosophical outlook, or have kids that are friends. Maybe you’e been there for each other through difficult times.

2. There is appreciation and acceptance in abundance.

In the best relationships, you know each other inside and out. You appreciate and accept each other, flaws and all. Your focus is on the other’s strengths, and you don’t dwell on their weaknesses. Most importantly, you give them the space to be their best.

3. Your time together is fun and stimulating.

When you do spend time together, there’s usually lots of laughter and great conversations. You want to know what they’ve been through, where they’re at, and what they hope for out of life. Through bad times (and good), you’re there for each other. You know what they need without their having to ask. Or, you know how to ask them what they need. Often, after you’e spent time together, you leave inspired or having learned something new.

4. You see each other as evolving beings.

You do not attach yourself to a limiting view of the other. Instead, you realize and acknowledge that each of you is always changing and evolving, so you don’t expect the same responses to new situations. You strive to understand and you nurture the other’s growth, just as you would want a plant.

5. The relationship seems effortless.

Last but not least, these types of relationships seem mostly effortless. That’s not to say that there won;t be struggles or dry spells. But, the best relationships are not burdened by expectations, so there is no room for disappointment. If you rarely see each other, when you do get together, it is as if you saw each other yesterday. Your relationship is not diminished by time or space apart.

Do you agree with the characteristics of lifelong relationships that I came up with? What else would you include or not include? I hope that this post makes you think of your best relationships. How do you create the space to nurture them?

Why not let someone know how grateful you are to have them in your life this week?