The Space Between
What’s wrong and right
Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you
~ Dave Matthews Band

As I prepare to present my first weekend contemplative photography workshop in Kentucky this weekend, I keep thinking about space, that is, the space between things. We don’t usually give much thought to space. It seems to be nothing. But, there’s a lot of energy in space. Claude Debussy famously said, “Music is the space between the notes.” This is a great example of how important space really is.

In The Practice of Contemplative Photography: Seeing the World with Fresh Eyes (paid link), the authors, Andy Karr and Michael Wood, ask us to start noticing space, to think of objects or form as being anchors for the space. It’s a brand new and very interesting perspective.

During the weekend workshop, we will be using our cameras to explore relationships – with ourselves, others, nature, and the whole. In doing some research in preparation, I came across several pieces that referred to “the space where relationships live – the space between.” Relationships do not exist in you, or me, or the other. They exist in the space between. The only control we have in the relationship is what we bring to the space.

This requires true self-awareness.

In her powerful TED Talk, Hedy Schleifer talks about the power of connection and about honoring the relational space.

In this article, How to Know if you’re a Controlling Person, Donald Miller uses an example of three pillows – where the relationship is the middle pillow. If you’re on the other person’s pillow, you’re trying to control them.

We can bring love, kindness, compassion, and empathy to the space. We can bring silence and listening to the space.

Or we can bring defenses, narrowness, and mean-spiritedness.

It’s our choice.