Brene Brown is a social worker with a Ph.D, who became widely known after her TEDx talk on the power of vulnerability went viral. It is one of the most watched TED videos of all time.
Through her research, Brown identified what it means to be a wholehearted person. These are people who have developed resilience to shame and are not afraid to be vulnerable. In her book, Daring Greatly (paid link), Brown speaks of the need for a sense of belonging and connection.
Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. ~ Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
I’d add that it’s important to connect with the world as a whole, to all living and non-living beings, not just to other people.
Brown sees love and belonging as two expressions of connection.
And, those who feel love and experience belonging are simply people who feel they are worthy of it. Many of us do not feel worthy. Many of us feel that we have to put on a mask, because deep down we are not enough. Often, we feel this way because we have been vulnerable and were shamed as a result. And, we’ve internalized that shame.
“Disconnection is expressed as loneliness, isolation, disengagement and emptiness. We feel alone and unseen.” ~ Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
The reason I love photography so much is because it helps me to connect with the world around me. It brings me into the present moment and helps me to see what’s really there. Every photograph is about relationships or connections – between photographer and subject or between subjects within the frame. Photography is not simply a way to express myself. It’s a way to express how I connect and where I belong.
The word belong here has nothing to do with fitting in or conforming. It has to do with where we are seen, heard, and accepted for who we really are. What I learned most from Brown’s book is that the greatest act of daring is to have the courage to be yourself. And, to know that your self is worthy of love and belonging.
I believe that we live in an interconnected, interdependent world and that the quality of that world and of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. We are unique individuals but we are not islands. We’re all connected and we all belong. It’s our responsibility to bring our uniqueness to the world as a whole. Everything we do and say matters and makes a difference.
What makes you feel connected with others and the world?
I’ve recently completed my Honours thesis and exhibition on exactly this area. I work predominantly with camera-less or alternative photography, although I am not averse to my cameras, and have found that the time and processes, and the observation required have increased my awareness of interconnection with all life and the environment we live.
Thanks for commenting, Jennie. I may need to talk to you more about this. I will be in touch.
I really appreciate the time you take to review good books – pointing the rest of us to those worthy of our time. This one has been added to my library list.
I do love recommending books, Brenda. I hope you like it.
I love her work. It is so resonant with so many because of how important it is. I love how you can find connection through photography. As a nutrition counselor, I tend to look for connections, vulnerability, and daring around food. You wrote, “those who feel love and experience belonging are simply people who feel they are worthy of it.” This struck a chord with me. My clients who don’t feel this way turn to destructive eating and drinking to feel better, only to make them feel worse. Brene Brown’s message could heal so many in so many positive ways. I am interested in your course!
Yes, Tracy, I do think you are right in that many who do not feel worthy of love and belonging look for it elsewhere, whether in food or other addictions.
In Gail Straub’s book, The Rhythm of Compassion, there is an exercise where you list the people, places or situations where you feel you belong and then the people, places or situations where you feel you hide. It’s very enlightening.
Very interesting video, Kim. I hadn’t seen it before. It makes sense to me that photography and creative arts in general allow people to be themselves and to share that with the world. I too would be interested in your course, I hope it’s something you go ahead with.