The verb “besiege” has a military connotation. It means (from Dictionary.com):
1. to lay siege to.
2. to crowd around; crowd in upon; surround:
3. to assail or ply, as with requests or demands.
It’s how most people feel most of the time: by events, by people, by all the necessities of providing, parenting or participating and even by the creative possibilities they have set in motion themselves. ~ David Whyte, Consolations
I immediately related to the third definition of “besieged,” to assail with requests or demands. As an introvert, I very much need my space and can easily feel overwhelmed. One of my favourite song lyrics is “I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.” (Real World, Matchbox Twenty)
The photograph above was chosen to depict what that feels like for me, being assailed from different directions and pressing on boundaries. Yet, I need people and purpose too. And, Whyte concurs.
If the world will not go away then the great discipline seems to be the ability to make an identity that can live in the midst of everything without feeling beset. We seem to live best at the crossroad between irretrievable aloneness and irretrievable belonging. ~ David Whyte
He encourages us to have a not to do list; to start the day with a period of aloneness, which prepares us to handle whatever else we will face during the day. Over the years, I’ve gradually designed my life around finding that right balance for me. Besides being careful about what I say yes to, I have the freedom to work from home with lots of alone time, and I’ve built pauses and daily walks into my life.
How about you? Or, is it only introverts who feel this way?
Read: Emma Sophia Roberts has a thoughtful take on how feeling besieged is tied to perception.
** Books mentioned have Amazon affiliate links, meaning I make a few cents if you purchase through my link. I only recommend books that I’ve read.
What a wonderful image to convey this concept. I too am an introvert who needs a lot of alone time. Like you, I am lucky enough to work from home and to have the luxury of creating my own schedule based on my own internal rhythms.
I’m not sure if only Introverts feel like this, however I am extremely Introverted and can almost feel like oxygen is denied to me when I am deprived from needed time to my Self.
I am learning ways to honour my Self in the mostly Extroverted, energy-depleting world in which I contribute. Driving with the car windows open and no radio on or music playing, rain, cold or shine, is amazingly soothing to me. Sitting in the backyard, even for 10 minutes, after work or a busy weekend day, simply being still and listening to the sounds around me feels wonderful. (Even though part of me really wants to check in on personal emails, Facebook, participate in blog commenting, etc.)
Stillness and absolute quiet are my balms right now. I am in need of a daily spiritual practice – something more elevating and deeply soothing than the 10 backyard minutes – I’m moving toward the creation of that.
In the meantime, I have noted that my presence is sometimes (often) sought as an oasis at work by employees who are all feeling the overwhelm of increasesd demands and tasks with no change in time allotted to do so. I must be doing something right.
I am looking forward to spending time today with my photographs and these contemplative words – Beauty, Beginnings and Beseiged are calling me, and whatever this week’s word is too.
Back to your question – I imagine it is easy to feel beseiged when demands and/or circumstances created outside of your control or desire start poking at you for attention, taking you away from what you really would rather be doing.
I’m an extravert and I definitely feel overwhelmed on occasions: I spread myself too thinly and go around muttering, “I can’t cope; I’m up to capacity.”
I enjoy spending a LOT of time alone, in silence. It’s essential to my wellbeing if I want to avoid feeling besieged by demands – the ones I impose on myself as much as the ones that people impose upon me.