In the hero’s journey, the third act is when the hero returns home, changed by the adventure of life.
The third act in a narrative, whether on film or in a book, is the falling action, where there is some kind of resolution and loose ends are tied up.
In life, the third act is usually called retirement – the final third of a long life, which usually begins around the age of 60 to 65.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my third act lately, wondering how I want to live in this last part of my life, where I’ll place my energies. There is a sense of not wanting to waste precious time. I want to live according to my values. I want to experience life and continue to contribute.
The word “retire” means to withdraw, to retreat to a safe place, to stop working. That does not sound appealing to me at all. Dr. Christiane Northrup writes in the preface to The MindBody Code by Dr. Mario Martinez,
The retirement age was instituted in Germany by Kaiser Otto Von Bismarck as a way to give people a state-funded pension so they could rest before they died. This was in 1880, when the average life expectancy after you turned sixty-five was only eighteen months. Now, it’s twenty-four years!
Of course, we have no idea how long our third act will be. It could last a day, a month, or thirty years. For some, the idea of not working at the job they’ve been doing for many years is very attractive and I totally get that.
The question still remains, how do we live the time we have left? How do we handle the aging process and the storms of life that will inevitably come up? How can we still contribute?
For many of the people I admire most in the world, there is no such thing as retirement. They continue to work in some capacity, with purpose until the day they die. When people ask me when I plan to retire, I say never. I’ve found what I love to do and don’t think of it as work.
Be an Intern
On a recent flight, I enjoyed watching the movie, The Intern, with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway. The tagline is: “Experience never gets old.”
De Niro plays a retired, seventy year old man, recently widowed, who is still grieving the loss of his wife. He’s trying his best, getting up every day and getting out, doing Tai Chi, etc. Yet, something is missing.
He sees an ad calling for an elderly intern at a cutting edge new company run by Hathaway’s character. It’s a lovely movie where young and old come together and all learn from and are enriched by each other. We need more of that.
The elderly in our culture are simply not appreciated in the way that they deserve. With the possibility of living thirty plus years after retirement, this mindset needs to change. Those in their later years have a wealth of experience in both life and work and much still to offer. They matter.
Lessons from Centenarians
In The MindBody Code, Martinez outlines four qualities of centenarians (people who have lived over the age of 100) – resilience, perseverance, creativity, and flexibility. Over the next few posts, I’ll look at each of these qualities, beginning with resilience later this week.
Our culture tells us that there are certain acceptable ways to be in our elder years. Once you start paying attention, you will see these expectations everywhere. How many times have you said to yourself or someone’s said to you, you’re too old to do that? Question those things. What centenarians do is very simple; they don’t buy into cultural expectations around aging one bit.
When you hear the word “retirement,” what does it bring up for you? Is it something you’re excited about or something you fear?
If you’re already retired, how have you lived your retirement intentionally? What have you found most difficult? Has photography helped you in some way?
I hope you’ll join in this conversation as it will help me flesh out my own thoughts.
** Books mentioned have Amazon affiliate links, meaning I make a few cents if you purchase through my link. I only recommend books that I’ve read.
I love your wonderful photo above, Kim. I recently rented the film “The Intern” with Robert de Niro. That tag line you mention above is perfect and so true!
How does one take this third act of our life? Well, quite simply I feel: one day at a time and go with the flow!
Such simple and sage advice, Sandra – one day at a time and go with the flow
Thanks for this, Kim. Like you, I never plan to retire. It just doesn’t make sense to me as a concept…
Yes, especially when it could be 30 years!
I just read your blog post, Kim. I can relate to your thoughts on “retirement”. I, too, have been pondering what that word and stage in life means to me. I want to see it as a time of new beginnings… an exploration of interests…and maintaining a sense of curiosity and wonder. But, it is all too easy to succumb to thoughts of sadness from losses or regrets of the past and have present feelings of melancholy, inadequacy and unimportance. These negative thoughts are binding (actually blinding!) and keep one in a state of confinement. And, with children grown and jobs left behind, it can seem difficult to structure days that used to be filled with family and work responsibilities. As you cited from “The MindBody Code”- having resilience, perseverance, creativity, and flexibility seems to be the key to living a full life! As I step into “retirement” in the next year or two, this I know for sure, photography will continue to be a big part of my life . It is fascinating how therapeutic and powerful a camera can be! With camera in hand comes a sense of calmness and inner peace, a tranquil state of being in the present. Additionally, the camera provides a visual journal of one’s life, with the images capturing emotions, activities and travels. So, on to retirement I go (shortly) with my camera at my side.
You raise some great points, Ann, about how easy it is to succumb to negative thoughts and feelings of unimportance. Which is why some kind of purpose is necessary. I’ve found that many are picking up the camera in their later years.
P.S.- I, too, really liked the movie- The Intern with Robert De Niro. It was so inspiring!
Such an important focus, Kim – Act III is one more Big Opportunity to look around at our lives and our world. About to turn 72, the questions you pose – how do we live the time we have left, handle the aging process and the storms of life that will inevitably come up, still contribute? – are questions I hold and live into every day, and the day itself becomes the fleeting “answer.” As I have begun integrating creative work – poetry, collage into my work as a healer and herbalist over the last year, the i-phone camera has become a marveling (as well as marvelous) tool in my daily life that helps me to pause and appreciate the shape, texture, light, serendipity of a moments that before were lost both to view and to consciousness – and stash them for a time when they help carry the meaning of a few lines of poetry to others.
Yes, a big opportunity for sure. I agree that creative work on a daily basis is an important part. It’s one of Martinez’ four qualities. I like how it allows you to find the answer in each day.
I been retired for over sixteen years and have learned the truth of what an older brother (he is 13 years older) once remarked: “Retirement and growing older will not free you of challenges.” Indeed, his comment is true. Twelve of my retirement years were spent watching my wife die of dementia and all the concerns that are connected to that terrible disease. But these years have also been opportunities for growth, for learning how to adjust, for dusting off dreams of younger years and engaging in “do it,” despite comments from others. Campbell’s theory of the “Hero’s Journey” has been my guide for many years. There will be a final curtain at some point. Until then, I hope to continue the obligations of the return, part of which is taking your wonderful on-line courses.
Dan, I’m so glad you left your comment. To me, you are an example of someone who engages with the challenges you are given and yet you still see opportunities for growth, pursue your dreams, and follow your own path. It’s always a pleasure to have you participate in the online workshops.
A wonderful article, Kim! In answer to your questions, when I first retired I had a trip planned to visit Cape Cod, I joined a bowling league and I started using my camera for more than just snapshots. I took photo classes that you offered which opened up even more ideas and ways of learning how to use my camera. I have a whole new life while still being a wife, mom, grandma and friend. Being retired for 8 years now, I know I I am living MY life and being who I am supposed to be at this age, not what “they” say I should be. There is always something to do, somewhere to go, books to read, someone new to meet. I spend many hours walking with the dog..I like being alone in the silence. Luckily I am healthy and mobile but I think even when I can’t hike those 5-10 miles during the week anymore, I will find something else to do. Maybe ballroom dancing!
I just had a conversation about retirement with a friend aged 65 whom I met because of photography as she is learning all about taking photos. She worked at a hospital but had to have a knee replacement last June..complications and setbacks put an end to her return to work, forcing her to retire even though she felt like she wanted to continue working and being productive. When talking with her she kept saying what would she do if she was not working. I kept telling her she could do whatever she wanted. I think part of her worry was just fear of change. We talked about that also..fear of being without her work friends (I said make new friends), fear of not being active (join a senior exercise program) and on and on. She retired in November and now we have done two short trips together for photography. She is taking vacations that are not schedule around her work. Being spontaneous. She is pushing herself to get out, walk, hike in the forest, learning more about photography. Being insulated in her work world kept her from having other interests except her dogs. She now is the embodiment of the four principles that you mention, creativity, flexibility, perseverance and resilience. She persevered this past week as we attempted several 4 mile hikes in the mountains of North Georgia to see waterfalls. She make the hike up and down hills. Her knee let her know it was not happy with the hills but she felt so wonderful for completing the journey that she had undertaken. I feel like now she won’t doubt herself so much. She may never do the kind of hikes we did this week but she knows she can. She let go of the expectations that were in her mind, the what ifs and proved something to herself about herself. I think her retirement will be labeled “what new adventure can I try now”. As for me, I was happen to be along to witness her joy.
One of my favorite mottos is “LIVE every day of your life”.
Mary, you are an inspiration for sure, someone who still has family responsibilities but has opened up new possibilities for herself. Yes, you are lucky you have your health, but the steps you’ve taken (no pun intended) actually help you maintain your health. I love how you encouraged your friend to go outside of her comfort zone and that now she is “the embodiment of the four principles that you mention, creativity, flexibility, perseverance and resilience.” We never know what we are capable of until we try. Retirement needs a new name as it can be a huge opportunity for growth.
I just saw this Kim and you are the best! I am in the process of trying to decide when to retire and, as I see what you wrote, engage in my next act. Your courses have helped me so much to see the world and now you are helping me get ready for my next act. And a fun one it will be. I love the statement you made “it can be a huge opportunity for growth.” That is what will make it so much fun.