Why are we so afraid of silence? David Whyte, in his book, Consolations, says this.
Silence is frightening, an intimation of the end, the graveyard of fixed identities. Real silence puts any present understanding to shame; orphans us from certainty; leads us beyond the well-known and accepted reality and confronts us with the unknown and previously unacceptable conversation about to break in upon our lives.
No wonder we fear it. Yet, scary as it is, Whyte hints at the gifts it holds – moving beyond fixed identities and facing reality. Silence teaches us to be brave.
In 2016, I had the honour of attending a four-day meditation and writing retreat led by Natalie Goldberg. She is the author of the classic book, Writing Down the Bones, as well as many others.
This retreat was a stretch for me since I’m not one for daily sitting meditation or personal writing. We spent much of each day in silence, in order to experience the reality of the moment, including our own thoughts. We had to face the discomfort, the uncertainty and perhaps even unacceptable conversations or thoughts. Everything went down on the page. I’d never done anything quite like this before and, although I welcomed the challenge and adventure, it was also smewhat terrifying.
What emerged from this silence? A deeper experience of place, in this case the retreat Center in Santa Fe, and also a few surprising aha’s about what was really on my mind. Silence is not always about being still or quiet. It is true listening, a merging with what or who we are with in the silence, whether a person or nature. I used the image above to depict this listening – a scene I found on the back edge of my sister-in-law’s house, as I set out for a walk in the park beyond.
Silence is the language in which everything that’s larger and more changeless than us speaks. – Pico Iyer in conversation with Patrick Chen, Notes on Silence
How does silence play a part in your life?
** Books mentioned have Amazon affiliate links, meaning I make a few cents if you purchase through my link. I only recommend books that I’ve read.
Read: The Science Behind Silence
See: The photography of Nathan Wirth – A Slice of Silence
Read: Silence and the Space to be Amazed
Watch: The film – In Pursuit of Silence
I loved your whole article, Kim and all the links which I explored. I especially loved this phrase which is in one of them: “Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything.”. Wonderful.
Your lovely photo brings me a feeling of serenity.
I love silence. I crave it and long for it, but it seems so difficult to find in today’s world. When I do find it, it’s usually not because it is truly silent, but that I’ve become engrossed in something I love – like nature, like photography – and the noise around me has faded away. I think I’m probably talking about something different from what you are here, but for me finding silence even for a moment truly is a gift.
I hope you enjoy your workshop with Natalie Goldberg. I attended a writers’ workshop once where she gave the keynote speech and also led some of the sessions. It was wonderful!
Thanks for your comment. I don’t think you’re talking about something different at all. Many of us crave silence, yet there’s no such thing as “no sound.” Maybe it really is the flow we crave.